CRISIS SUPPORT

It might feel uncomfortable, but being direct is essential.

Ask:

• “Are you thinking about killing yourself?”

• “Are you thinking about suicide?”

These questions do not increase thoughts of suicide.
They give clarity — and help you determine risk.

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IF THEY SAY “YES,” ASK THE FOLLOW-UP QUESTIONS

These questions help you understand the level of risk and how fast you need to act.

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1. HOW?

“Have you decided how you would kill yourself?”

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2. WHEN?

“Have you decided when you would do it?”

 

Even if they say next month or next week - do not wait. A person with a timeline is still in crisis right now.

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3. NEEDS / MEANS / WAY

“Have you gotten the things you need to kill yourself?”

 

This question helps determine access to lethal means. If they have a plan or means: This is active crisis and you need to take immediate action.

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IF THEY DO NOT HAVE A PLAN

They still need support.

Often, what they need most is:

• someone to listen

• emotional safety

• space to share without fear or judgment

• validation

• connection

Listening non-judgmentally can be one of the most protective things you can do.

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IF THEY DO HAVE A PLAN, TIMELINE, OR MEANS

Take action immediately:

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Call, text, or chat 988

This line can support YOU and THEM.
They can guide you step-by-step.

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Or call 911

If calling 911, ask for:

“the crisis team” or “mobile mental health crisis team.”

This ensures you get trained units, not a standard response.

Provide the dispatcher with as much information as possible.

 

You are not “getting them in trouble." You are getting them help.

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WHAT NOT TO DO IN A CRISIS

• Don’t shame, guilt, or lecture.

• Don’t say things like:

  • “If you kill yourself, I won’t go to your funeral.”

  • “You’re going to hell.”

  • “If you loved me, you wouldn’t do this.”

  • “What about your kids?”

• Don’t delay getting help.

• Don’t assume you can talk them out of it.

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These statements increase shame and distress — not safety.

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WHAT TO SAY IN A CRISIS

Try:

• “Can we call 988 together? I want to support you but I’m not sure how.”

• “When is now a good time to get some help so you can start feeling better?”

• “I hear that you want to die. What’s making you feel like this is your only option?”

• Parrot their words back — it helps their brain clarify what they mean.

• “I’m not a professional, but I’m here to listen and not judge anything you’re feeling.”

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Listening + validation + connection = safety.

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OTHER IMPORTANT INFORMATION

• Youth experience crisis differently — everything feels bigger, faster, and more intense.

• Trying to “logic” someone out of suicide never works.

• If they’re talking to you about their thoughts, that means they want help.

• Suicidal thoughts are time-limited, but dangerous if someone is alone in them.

• After stabilization, building a personal safety plan is essential.

• Case management, follow-up care, and professional support increase survival.

• It is NOT your fault if someone dies, even when you did everything right.

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REMEMBER

Two things save lives:

Connection & Community

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Get educated. Get connected. And reach out for support. You are not alone in this, and neither are they.