Supporting a Loved One After a Suicide Attempt

⚠️ Important: This Is Not a Crisis Service

If you or someone you love is in immediate danger:

• Call your local emergency number (911 in the U.S.)

• Use your country’s suicide crisis hotline or text line

• Stay with the person if it is safe to do so

 

MMHM provides education, resources, and community — not crisis intervention.

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Understanding What They May Be Going Through

A suicide attempt is rarely about wanting life to end — it’s about wanting unbearable emotional pain to stop.

 

Afterward, your loved one may feel:

• Ashamed or scared to talk about it

• Afraid of judgment or rejection

• Numb, exhausted, or overwhelmed

• Confused about their own emotions

• Worried about how you see them now

• Unsure how to rebuild trust or connection

 

At MMHM, we’ve heard these experiences again and again from those with lived experience. You’re not imagining it — this is a delicate, vulnerable time.

 

Your job is not to fix them.

Your job is to walk alongside them as they regain stability and strength.

 

How to Be Helpful

Use these strategies as a guide. Perfect is not required — compassion is.

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1. Lead With Presence, Not Perfection

Your presence is grounding. You don’t need the perfect words.

 

Helpful things to say:

• “I’m glad you’re here.”

• “You matter to me so much.”

• “You’re not alone in this. We’ll navigate it together.”

 

One of MMHM’s core beliefs is that connection saves lives. Your presence is part of that connection.

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2. Listen With Curiosity, Not Judgment

Instead of assuming, fixing, or lecturing, you’re opening space.

 

Try asking:

• “What was feeling really heavy for you that day?”

• “What feels hardest right now?”

• “What would feel supportive for you today?”

 

We teach this in Mental Health First Aid and MMHM programs — curiosity is more powerful than correction.

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3. Focus on Safety & Stabilization (First Priority)

Early recovery isn’t about deep emotional processing. It’s about grounding and safety.

 

You can help by:

• Quietly and respectfully securing medications, firearms, or other lethal means

• Helping them follow aftercare instructions

• Encouraging small steps like water, food, rest

• Keeping routines calm and predictable

 

This mirrors the trauma-informed approach we use across MMHM education.

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4. Encourage Professional Help — Without Pressure

People are more likely to seek help when the invitation feels supportive, not forced.

 

Try:

• “Would it help to have a professional who really gets this?”

• “If you want, I can help you find a therapist or support group.”

• “We don’t have to figure this out alone — there are amazing people trained to help.”

 

MMHM’s mission includes connecting people with trusted resources. You’re part of that support system.

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5. Validate Their Feelings

Validation reduces shame — one of the biggest risk factors for future attempts.

 

Instead of:
“Don’t feel that way.”

 

Try:
“I’m sorry you’ve been hurting so much.”
“I can see this feels heavy for you.”
“Thank you for trusting me with that.”

This is the heart of what MMHM stands for: creating safe spaces for real conversations.

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6. Ask Directly About Safety

Asking about suicide does not increase risk — evidence consistently shows it reduces it.
We teach this in our MHFA and suicide awareness trainings.

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Ask clearly and kindly:

• “Are you having thoughts about harming yourself today?”

• “Do you feel safe right now?”

• “If these thoughts come back, can we make a plan for who you’ll reach out to?”

 

Brave questions save lives.

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7. Offer Practical, Everyday Support

Daily life can feel overwhelming after a suicide attempt.

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Helpful support might include:

• Cooking or ordering meals

• Handling school pick-up or errands

• Helping with appointments

• Giving them a calm space to rest

 

These supportive actions can be the difference between sinking and stabilizing.

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8. Take Care of Yourself Too

Supporting someone who attempted suicide is emotionally heavy and often traumatic.
MMHM teaches this constantly:

You can’t pour from an empty cup.

Your emotions matter too.

You’re allowed to:

• Feel scared, angry, exhausted, or unsure

• Take breaks

• Have your own support system

• Go to therapy or counseling yourself

• Set healthy boundaries

 

You are part of the healing process — but you are not required to carry it alone.

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What’s Not Helpful (Even If It Comes From Love)

No shame — these are common reactions. But being aware helps you avoid causing unintentional harm.

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1. Minimizing Their Pain

Unhelpful:

• “You have so much to be grateful for.”

• “It wasn’t that bad.”

• “Other people have it worse.”

 

This shuts the door to honest conversation.

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2. Using Guilt or Shame

Unhelpful:

• “How could you do this to us?”

• “Think about the kids.”

• “Do you know what you put us through?”

 

Shame increases risk.
Compassion reduces it.

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3. Demanding Promises

Unhelpful:

• “Swear you’ll never do this again.”

• “You won’t ever scare me like that again, right?”

 

It’s not realistic or fair.

Instead: “Let’s make a plan for what you’ll do and who you’ll contact if these feelings come up again.”

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4. Over-Monitoring

Unhelpful:

• Constantly checking their location

• Watching them every second

• Hovering or smothering

 

Balance matters.

Try: “I may check in a bit more because I care, but please tell me if it ever feels overwhelming.”

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5. Pretending Nothing Happened

Avoiding the topic doesn’t protect them — it isolates them.

 

You can say:
“Whenever you want to talk about what happened or how you’re feeling, I’m here. And if you don’t want to talk, that’s okay too.”

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A Simple 3-Phase Support Framework

Aligned with practices we teach at Make Mental Health Matter.

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Phase 1: Immediate (0–72 Hours)

Focus on:

• Safety

• Medical/mental health follow-up

• Stabilization

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Your role:

• Stay present

• Avoid blame

• Support basic needs

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Phase 2: Stabilization (1–4 Weeks)

Focus on:

• Professional care

• Rest

• Reducing stressors

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Your role:

• Listen openly

• Offer practical support

• Maintain predictable routines

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Phase 3: Long-Term Support

Focus on:

• Building resilience

• Reconnecting

• Ongoing healing

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Your role:

• Keep communication open

• Encourage professional support

• Take care of your own wellness

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You’re Not Alone — And You Don’t Have to Do This Alone

At Make Mental Health Matter, we’re committed to providing education, tools, and community to help families navigate mental health challenges with compassion, courage, and hope.

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Whether it’s through:

• Mental Health First Aid classes

• Suicide awareness and intervention programs

• Trusted Resource Hub referrals

• Community connection events

• The Make Mental Health Matter Show

…we’re here to walk with you, not just talk at you.

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You’re already doing one of the most important things: Seeking understanding instead of staying silent.

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If you or someone you love needs support or mental health education, explore our resources.