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SUPPORTING YOUTH THROUGH MENTAL HEALTH CHALLENGES

Youth today are navigating enormous emotional pressure, social stress, online influence, isolation, bullying, identity development, academic expectations, and mental health challenges earlier than ever before.

At Make Mental Health Matter (MMHM), we believe one of the most powerful things we can give young people is a safe adult who listens without judgment.

This page is for:

parents
caregivers
teachers
coaches
trusted adults
and youth themselves

Because supportive conversations save lives.

YOUTH MENTAL HEALTH CHALLENGES ARE STARTING YOUNGER

We are seeing anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts, self-harm, and emotional overwhelm in children younger and younger, including children under age 10.

Kids understand more than we think they do.

It is never too early to start having open, honest conversations about:

mental health
emotions
suicide
self-harm
drugs and alcohol
bullying
relationships
hygiene
sex
weapons and safety
online safety
coping skills

The more openly we talk about hard things, the more likely youth are to come to us when they are struggling.

We don’t plant ideas by talking about them.

We plant safety, trust, and connection.

HOW TO SUPPORT A YOUNG PERSON WHO IS STRUGGLING

Stay calm

One of the biggest mistakes adults make is reacting from fear.

When youth finally open up, they are often terrified:

of getting in trouble
of disappointing you
of being judged
of losing privileges
of being misunderstood

If your reaction is panic, anger, punishment, or shame, they may stop opening up in the future.

Take a breath first.

Your calm creates emotional safety.

Listen more than you talk

Many youth do not fully understand their emotions yet.
Their brains are still developing, especially the rational and decision-making parts.

Sometimes they:

don’t have words for what they feel
don’t understand why they feel overwhelmed
struggle to explain their thoughts
need time and patience to open up

Think of it like peeling layers off an onion.

You may not get the full story immediately.

Curiosity and patience matter.

Ask open-ended questions

Instead of:

“Why would you do this?”
“What’s wrong with you?”
“You’re not doing this for attention, are you?”

Try:

“Can you help me understand what’s been going on?”
“What does this feel like for you?”
“When did you start feeling this way?”
“What’s been the hardest part lately?”
“What do you need most right now?”

UNDERSTANDING NON-SUICIDAL SELF-INJURY (NSSI)

Self-harm or cutting can be extremely scary for parents and caregivers to discover.

But reacting with panic, punishment, or anger often increases shame and pushes youth further away.

For many young people, self-harm is not about wanting to die.

It is often a way to:

release emotional pain
regulate overwhelming emotions
feel something when emotionally numb
express emotions they cannot verbalize
cope with internal distress

At MMHM, we often explain it like this:

Imagine a boiling pot of water with a lid on it. The steam has to go somewhere. Cracking the lid releases pressure so the pot does not boil over.

Self-harm can function similarly.

It is usually a negative coping skill, but it is still a coping skill.

This is why punishment alone does not work.

Until healthier coping skills are built and practiced, the behavior may continue because it is serving a purpose emotionally.

That does not mean we encourage it.
It means we approach it with understanding instead of shame.

WHAT TO SAY IF YOU DISCOVER SELF-HARM

Try:

“Thank you for trusting me.”
“I’m glad you’re not carrying this alone anymore.”
“Can you help me understand what this does for you emotionally?”
“I’m not angry at you. I want to support you.”
“You are not in trouble.”
“We’re going to figure this out together.”

Avoid:

yelling
punishment
threats
guilt
demanding they “just stop”
taking away every coping outlet without replacing it with support

Healing comes through connection and skill-building, not shame.

ASKING ABOUT SUICIDE

It is okay to ask directly:

“Are you thinking about killing yourself?”
“Are you thinking about suicide?”

Even with children.

Asking does NOT put the idea into their head.
Research consistently shows this.

In fact, asking directly often creates relief because someone finally noticed their pain.

If they say yes:

stay calm
listen
ask follow-up questions
seek support immediately

Visit our Crisis Support page for next steps and safety guidance.

WHAT NOT TO SAY TO YOUTH

Avoid:

“You have nothing to be sad about.”
“You’re being dramatic.”
“Other kids have it worse.”
“It’s just hormones.”
“You’re doing this for attention.”
“Stop acting crazy.”
“You’re too young to feel this way.”
“You just want attention.”
“If you really wanted to die, you would.”

These statements increase shame and isolation.

WHAT TO SAY INSTEAD

Try:

“I’m really glad you told me.”
“You don’t have to go through this alone.”
“Your feelings matter.”
“I may not fully understand, but I want to.”
“Thank you for trusting me.”
“I’m here to listen, not judge.”
“You are not bad or broken.”
“We can get help together.”

FOR YOUTH: HOW TO HELP A FRIEND WHO IS STRUGGLING

If your friend talks about:

suicide
self-harm
hopelessness
wanting to disappear
feeling like a burden

Take it seriously.

You do NOT have to carry this alone.

DO:

listen without judgment
tell a trusted adult
stay connected to them
encourage them to get help
remind them they matter

DON’T:

promise to keep suicidal thoughts secret
try to become their therapist
take responsibility for saving them by yourself
ignore warning signs

A real friend gets help.

SAFE2TELL COLORADO

In Colorado, students and community members can anonymously report concerns about:

suicide risk
bullying
threats
self-harm
violence
substance use
safety concerns

Through:
Safe2Tell Colorado

If you see warning signs, say something.

YOUTH-SPECIFIC SUPPORT RESOURCES

Crisis & Suicide Support

Call or text 988
Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741

Teen Support

Teen Line
Teens helping teens through trained peer listeners.

Colorado Youth Support

Safe2Tell Colorado

IMPORTANT REMINDERS FOR PARENTS & CAREGIVERS

Your child does not need a “perfect” parent — they need a safe one.
Connection matters more than having the perfect words.
Punishment rarely heals emotional pain.
Curiosity builds trust.
Listening creates safety.
Emotional regulation is taught, not assumed.
Recovery is possible.

The goal is not perfection.
The goal is building a relationship where your child knows:

“I can come to you when things get hard.”

That relationship can save a life.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE

At Make Mental Health Matter, we are committed to creating education, resources, and conversations that help youth and families feel less alone.

We encourage parents, caregivers, schools, and communities to continue learning about youth mental health, suicide prevention, emotional regulation, and connection-based support.

Because when we create safe spaces for young people to talk, we create safer futures for them to live in.

Jump to one of our other pages for additional help

SUPPORTING YOUTH THROUGH MENTAL HEALTH CHALLENGES

YOUTH MENTAL HEALTH CHALLENGES ARE STARTING YOUNGER

We are seeing anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts, self-harm, and emotional overwhelm in children younger and younger, including children under age 10.

​

Kids understand more than we think they do.

It is never too early to start having open, honest conversations about:

mental health

emotions

suicide

self-harm

drugs and alcohol

bullying

relationships

hygiene

sex

weapons and safety

online safety

coping skills

The more openly we talk about hard things, the more likely youth are to come to us when they are struggling.

We don’t plant ideas by talking about them.

We plant safety, trust, and connection.

​

HOW TO SUPPORT A YOUNG PERSON WHO IS STRUGGLING

Stay calm

One of the biggest mistakes adults make is reacting from fear.

When youth finally open up, they are often terrified:

of getting in trouble

of disappointing you

of being judged

of losing privileges

of being misunderstood

If your reaction is panic, anger, punishment, or shame, they may stop opening up in the future.

Take a breath first.

Your calm creates emotional safety.

​

Listen more than you talk

Many youth do not fully understand their emotions yet. Their brains are still developing, especially the rational and decision-making parts.

Sometimes they:

don’t have words for what they feel

don’t understand why they feel overwhelmed

struggle to explain their thoughts

need time and patience to open up

​

Think of it like peeling layers off an onion.

You may not get the full story immediately.

Curiosity and patience matter.

​

Ask open-ended questions

Instead of:

“Why would you do this?”

“What’s wrong with you?”

“You’re not doing this for attention, are you?”

Try:

“Can you help me understand what’s been going on?”

“What does this feel like for you?”

“When did you start feeling this way?”

“What’s been the hardest part lately?”

“What do you need most right now?”

​

​

UNDERSTANDING NON-SUICIDAL SELF-INJURY (NSSI)

​

Self-harm or cutting can be extremely scary for parents and caregivers to discover.

But reacting with panic, punishment, or anger often increases shame and pushes youth further away.

For many young people, self-harm is not about wanting to die.

It is often a way to:

release emotional pain

regulate overwhelming emotions

feel something when emotionally numb

express emotions they cannot verbalize

cope with internal distress

At MMHM, we often explain it like this:

Imagine a boiling pot of water with a lid on it. The steam has to go somewhere. Cracking the lid releases pressure so the pot does not boil over.

Self-harm can function similarly.

It is usually a negative coping skill, but it is still a coping skill.

This is why punishment alone does not work.

Until healthier coping skills are built and practiced, the behavior may continue because it is serving a purpose emotionally.

That does not mean we encourage it. It means we approach it with understanding instead of shame.

WHAT TO SAY IF YOU DISCOVER SELF-HARM

​

Many youth do not fully understand their emotions yet.
Their brains are still developing, especially the rational and decision-making parts.

That does not mean we encourage it.
It means we approach it with understanding instead of shame.

“Are you thinking about killing yourself?”
“Are you thinking about suicide?”

Asking does NOT put the idea into their head.
Research consistently shows this.